May I Ease in and out of Life’s Painful Moments…

On a frigid, grey morning at the beginning of a snowy February in Brooklyn, I was attempting to get out of a parking space that had been blocked in when the city’s snow plow pushed all the snow to the right side of the street. 

The snow had already hardened, and I had forgotten to buy a shovel for the car prior to the storm. I figured if I turned my car on, the heat from the engine and slowly trying to edge out of the spot would melt the frozen snow, and I would be free. 

I was getting more and more frustrated when my harsh attempts at pushing on the gas wouldn’t edge me forward even an inch. Luckily for me, a kind, older, fellow Latino man saw me struggling and came to help. In Spanish, he instructed me to do the opposite of what I had been doing: leave the wheel alone and take my foot off the gas. 

After several failed attempts to do what he said, I literally had to sit on my hands to avoid the temptation to turn the wheel in an effort to edge out. Instead of pressing on the gas even the slightest bit, he had me just gently let my foot off the brake while in drive. Brake. Same thing in reverse. Repeat.

After a couple minutes of seemingly NOTHING happening, I put the car back into drive, gingerly took my foot off the brake, and BLOOP! I was out of the parking spot. 

Later, it hit me how often I do the same thing in my life! I’ll be feeling totally stuck in a situation and sure that there’s only one way out---pushing, grinding, trying SO HARD to make my way work---when really, all that’s needed is for me take a breath, slow down, allow for help, & do basic embodiment & grounding practices, even if it feels like I’m just going through the motions. 

Often in the most stuck moments, what frees you is taking your hands off the wheel of your mind, by allowing your breath to guide you to rest (braking), and your body to tell you how it needs to move or be touched (taking your foot off the brake). 

At first, you’ll feel like you’re not doing anything to “fix” the situation. Trust what’s going on that you can’t see, because it’s a whole lot! Through this practice of intentional ease, you will suddenly find yourself free; on the open road, with the stuckness fading in your rearview mirror.